13 March, 2007

My Life... :)..!! !

After a long time I am blogging again... Maybe this will be the last time I will be blogging... I want to tell something to everyone about myself... I am feeling very lonely... I want to write what is in my mind now cause I may not have the chance to tell it again..

When a small child is born, he is innocent, cute and loving. He does not even know what awaits him in the future. Then he gets a few habits, a few qualities and also a few characteristics. He gets all this due to his surroundings and due to the people around him. That means the small child changes from an innocent boy to someone else.

The same thing with me. I was once a small child who did not know what the world would make me become. The only thing I could do was to live my life however I could. I had never wanted to change but what to do... Life is such that I have to change.

Sometimes people tell me that I have changed alot. Some people tell me I am changing day by day. Some people even tell me that I am not the guy they used to know. Even the girl whom I love the most in my life told me that I am not the guy she used to love. But they do not realise that humans do not force themselves to change, it just happens. When someone asks me why have I changed, I only could say this... "Time changes, atmosphere changes so people change and that is why I change."

There are some people who have everything in their life and yet they are not happy. And there are also some people who do not have anything but still they are happy. And for me.. I am the person who has everything in life and yet I cannot see what I am having. In this case.. how would I be...? Happy or Sad...? I don't even know...

Am I Alone..? Sometimes I ask this question to myself. Can I keep the people around me happy like how they have always tried to keep me...? I don't know. The only thing I know is this that my life is going on the road which is going to end soon. There isn't any cross junctions where I can change my route. There isn't any traffic lights where I can stop for awhile. There is no one with me to hold my hand and bring me back. There is nothing left for me.

I had always wanted to be happy but I just could not get the happiness. And now when the road is going to end, I am smiling all the way from within. Why is it that life has to be like this...? Why is it that people become so happy when a child is born when they all know it very well that one day the child's life will be taken away...? Why...?

Life is a betrayer cause it will one day leave us and go away. Death is the lover which will wait for us all our life and be with us in the the end.



Durgesh... :)..!! !